I used to spend days on end in a daydream, living in a fabricated future and an inaccurately remembered past. I would just sit there, thinking about stuff I wanted to do. Not really doing anything, just sitting there thinking about doing stuff… It was my own private hell, not because it was unpleasant, sometimes I didn’t even notice I was doing it, it was hell because it wasn’t real.
It seemed like real life, it felt real, I had aspirations and ideas, I would talk about them, I would run through the strategies internally, get an experience and move on. All the while I was missing out. I was missing out on actual life, the “in the moment” reality of doing stuff, having responses and feelings based on what was happening there and then.
I could’t even tell the difference to be honest, except at the end of the day, when nothing had changed, I hadn’t done anything, and I was still unhappy and planning that “tomorrow” would be better.
It’s an insidious cycle of inaction and procrastination, that can go unnoticed by a person for days, weeks months and even years. The clock of your life slowly ticking down, and you, oblivious to it all innocently living inside a fantasy. I think for me, it began when I started “learning” how to set goals, part of the process was to associate into the experience of achieving the goal, and I suddenly found that life felt easier in my imagination than “out there” and so I spent more time in there.
People passed me by, and I wondered what their secret was, not realising that they were simply more present and actually taking action. I had fantastic, elaborate plans, great ideas and grandiose dreams, but without the accompanying action it was all for naught.
I still get caught up occasionally in the dreaming part, but I reset more quickly to the present, taking action, and noticing what’s going on around me. I guess it’s a much practised part of me and that’s why it’s so easy to slip back into; knowing it’s happening is key to coming back to the present.
If your life feels out of kilter, and you feel like you’re not where you want to be right now, it’s vital to remember, that when you have a thinking problem, the last thing you need is more thinking.
Step out of the imagined life and plant both feet firmly into the present, start taking action, however small and practise noticing when you do. The feelings are different, don’t ask me to explain how, it’s for you to discover, but you’ll know the difference when you get here.
